Drink any time an actress cries in a speech.
Drink any time you see a person actively not listening to someone onstage.
Drink any time someone says, "I didn't prepare anything!"
Eat a meatball sub any time someone thanks Harvey Weinstein.
Take off an article of clothing any time they show Judi Dench.
Take off an article of clothing any time Maggie Smith wins.
Behold! Possibly the only time the Golden Globes will ever be worth watching.
The rules have been extracted from The Hollywood Reporter's original interview with the hosting duo. It's worth a read. It might restore some of your faith in the media industry.
(Incidentally, one of my most favorite Tweets of all time was on precisely this topic back in October, 2012 from Mr. Brett Kelly.)