"The Enrique Iglesias of Email"

Katie Heaney, BuzzFeed:

This is, of course, dependent on what exactly it is that you’re putting in your email signature. Just your name? A little lazy, perhaps, but fine. Your name and your job title? Normal! Your name and your job title and your awards and some nice things various ex-boyfriends said about the luster of your hair? That would be weird — and yes, dickish! Email signatures are best left to the professional realm, where using them lends a degree of credibility to whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish in that email — getting interview access, applying for a new job, etc. Think of it like flashing your ID: If nobody asked to see it, proffering it to every person you talk to you get might come off strangely.
As far as using “sent from my phone” goes, I don’t like when people use rudeness disclaimers shortly before doing something rude. Here is a pop song example: in “Tonight I’m F$%*ing You,” Enrique Iglesias sings, “Excuse me, I don’t mean to be rude, but tonight I’m f%&*ing you. Whoa-oh!” I mean, what?? Enrique! You’re doing the exact thing you’re trying not to do, pretty much immediately.
“Sent from my phone” is the Enrique Iglesias of email.

Although I've only been in the working world for a few short years, I feel like I've been on an endless exotic boat safari of terrible email signatures for the whole time.

Whether it's the excessively long, multi-colored, and logo-filled corporate signature, or the muted, under-stated, and quotation-filled independent signature, I've unquestionably seen them all.

Although I certainly agree with Ms. Heaney's assessment of the inane mobile signature, I believe there is something far, far worse — a signature practice that, for the sake of human survival, should be burned with fire.

Of course, I speak of the inane and worthless legal statement that spews forth from the corporate world.

The legal statement manages to marry the disparate virtues of irrelevance, pointlessness, and annoyance in one lengthy and obnoxious package. For those who defend it, you're probably the same sort of person who deleted your Instagram account upon misreading their terms update. And by that I mean you're an armchair lawyer with an inflated sense of self-worth.

(For those who have it appended to their emails without choosing to do so, I feel for you. It's the equivalent of leaving home and your mother attaching a "Kick Me!" sticker to your back each morning before school.)

Perhaps the only thing worse in the email world is the act of writing a whole message as a subject line. Seriously, if you're guilty of that, I hope someone steals your car today. You're an empirically awful person.

Please, for the sake of humanity, keep your signature to a simple name, phone number, and possibly a job title. There's no need for anything more.

Seriously. Please.