Jeb Boniakowski, The Awl:

I'm starting to feel like that guy here. Or at least I'm feeling aware of it. BUT STILL! SOCIAL MEDIA! CROWDSOURCING! THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE! Let's get McDonald's to do this! What? You want some overwrought metaphor action here? Okay: McDonald's is like America, and like America, it's been having a rough couple years, self-esteem-wise, PR-wise and even money-wise. Sure, it could try to be more like Starbucks with its new coffee push, or it could go more healthy, since it seems that's what people want now. But that's never going to work, just like America is never going to be a Scandinavian country or… whatever Randian hellhole the conservatives dream of (Somalia?). It's time for McDonald's to BOLDLY embrace the BEST PARTS of its McDonaldsness. For itself, for its fans, and for its country! [wild applause].

I've been reading and re-reading this article repeatedly for the past two days. I think it might be one of my most favorite pieces of writing on the Internet ever.

We're so frequently guilty of taking ourselves far too seriously on the Internet and The Awl has been a near-constant breath of fresh air combating the rise of self-righteousness. Particularly considering their fantastic campaign against the Moon.

Plus, at the end of the day, think of the genuine legacy we'd leave for our greasy, overweight children with McWorld?

Read the article. Do it now.