Jeb Boniakowski, The Awl:

I'm starting to feel like that guy here. Or at least I'm feeling aware of it. BUT STILL! SOCIAL MEDIA! CROWDSOURCING! THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE! Let's get McDonald's to do this! What? You want some overwrought metaphor action here? Okay: McDonald's is like America, and like America, it's been having a rough couple years, self-esteem-wise, PR-wise and even money-wise. Sure, it could try to be more like Starbucks with its new coffee push, or it could go more healthy, since it seems that's what people want now. But that's never going to work, just like America is never going to be a Scandinavian country or… whatever Randian hellhole the conservatives dream of (Somalia?). It's time for McDonald's to BOLDLY embrace the BEST PARTS of its McDonaldsness. For itself, for its fans, and for its country! [wild applause].

I've been reading and re-reading this article repeatedly for the past two days. I think it might be one of my most favorite pieces of writing on the Internet ever.

We're so frequently guilty of taking ourselves far too seriously on the Internet and The Awl has been a near-constant breath of fresh air combating the rise of self-righteousness. Particularly considering their fantastic campaign against the Moon.

Plus, at the end of the day, think of the genuine legacy we'd leave for our greasy, overweight children with McWorld?

Read the article. Do it now.

Reading a Serious Advertisement as a Well-Written Joke

When "The Laptop for the Media Maven" popped up in my RSS reader this morning, from The Awl no less, I assumed the following was a parody:

A laptop is a laptop is a laptop, you say? Not anymore.

The HP dv6t is a revolutionary new laptop computer that’s going to change the way you consume media. The computer comes decked out with Beats Audio™ & Quad-Speakers, which block out unwanted electrical sounds and spotlight the subtle nuances in your favorite MP3s (just see how great your loudest hair band albums sound now). The dv6t also features a 15.6-inch BrightView LED display and a built-in high-definition Blu-ray player for a phenomenal cinema-quality movie experience.

Turns out it's a serious sponsored post from HP.